whole cloth

n. A complete fabrication.

JFDI knight

n. (from JFDI and Jedi knight)

  1. Someone who gets things done; a task list ninja.

At the point when I spend all my time talking about programming, and very little of my time programming, my worst fear has been realized: I’ve become a pundit. The last thing the world needs is more pundits. … They don’t materially participate in the construction of any lasting artifacts; instead, they passively observe other people’s work and offer a neverending babbling brook of opinions, criticism, and witty turns of phrase. —Jeff Atwood, “Yes, But What Have You Done?



  1. A trademarked brand of gelatin powder and products. According to advertising, there is always room for it.
  2. (interaction design) An element that a collaborating non-designer thinks can be added freely to a design for no cost.



  1. An AOL Instant Messenger screen name.


n. (thanks, Simon)

  1. An algorithm comprising several weighted algorithms that perform the same purpose. For example, search engine ranking algorithms.


adj. (from anticlimactic and climate)

  1. Related to the belief that, if the predictions of catastrophe by climate scientists are not outright wrong, we will amply fix the problem within a comfortable margin of safety.


n. (from asshat and haberdashery)

  1. The talent of bringing out the asshat in others.


n. (from asymptote)

  1. In a software development team, fear of incrementing any segment of a version number other than the rightmost.

blue up


  1. For the weather to clear.

For example, “Oh, good to see it blue up out there.”


adj. (from centi- and sentient; thanks, Anil)

  1. Prone to creating milestones around round base ten numbers.

This is neologasm’s one-hundredth word. Thanks for reading!


n. (from coder and modem)

  1. A device that performs the function of a modem, only digitally.

As modem is short for modulator/demodulator, a “digital modem” is not really a modem at all: it doesn’t modulate an analog signal, but rather encodes and decodes a bitstream. Strictly speaking, the word analogous to modem would be codec, short for coder/decoder, but that word has a specific meaning in popular usage: the software “driver” for an audio or video file format.


adj. (thanks, Broken)

  1. Having spots.


Available for a band.


n. (from double and derivative)

  1. A second derivative; that is, the rate of change in a rate of change. Chiefly acceleration.

The most common doubrivative is acceleration, a rate of change in a velocity, which is itself the rate of change in a position.


n. (retronym from smartphone)

  1. A cellular telephone capable of no major functions other than voice calls and text messaging.

Doubtless some would argue a dumbphone should only place and receive voice calls, but as more Americans use text messaging, text and IM are increasing necessities in cell phones. As someone who both uses text messaging and argues for the dumbphone to friends with Pocket PC “phones” that trade reception and reliability for the ability to play Solitaire, I elect to take a moderate stance on the texting issue.


n. (from fap and claptrap)

  1. Trivial things or matters.

hot stove


  1. The person on the critical path of a project, especially by sheer majority of eir assigned tasks.

Hot stove can also be verbed, meaning to put someone on the critical path. Compare throw under the bus.


n. (from impugn and pugilist)

  1. One who habitually talks smack.


n. (from lager and loggerheads)

  1. In at lagerheads, engaging in drunken arguments.
  2. Prone to drunken argument.


n. (from lol and soulmate)

  1. One with whom you share funny internets.



  1. Any Starbucks product with a made-up name, e.g., Frappuccino.


n. (thanks, Michael)

  1. The overall architecture of a business system comprising technological and non-technological components.


n. (from meat and testosterone; thanks, Broken)

  1. The chemical soup in meat (mainly beef) that imbues it with manliness.


n. (from analogy with nation-state; thanks, Broken)

  1. A city arcology.


adj. (from neapolitan ice cream; thanks, Broken)

  1. Heterogeneous.


n. (thanks, Walt)

  1. A mysterious, unexplained injury.
  2. A group of a ninja’s peers selected to sit in judgment of him or her.


n. (from pejorative and aperitif)

  1. A particularly cutting bon mot.



  1. With eight percent chance.



  1. To simulate civic or social action in a mock context.


v. (from analogy with -ant words like servant, pleasant)

  1. To be poignant.


n. (from portmanteau and -eur from analogy with, e.g., saboteur)

  1. One who creates portmanteaus.


vt. (portmanteau of pretend and remember)

  1. To recall a false or intentionally made-up memory.

remember wholesale

vt. (from the Philip K. Dick short story “We Can Remember It For You Wholesale”)

  1. To remind oneself of something using machine-assisted memory. For example, to recall a particular IM discussion by reading or searching the log.

Remembering something wholesale is similar to but distinct from googleknowing (just-in-time learning using a search engine). You have to have already known and forgotten something to remember it wholesale.


n. (from toque and recognizance)

  1. One’s identity, and the associated social credit, as signaled through one’s hat.


v. (created by Ze Frank, probably from the general idea of propulsion, or the classic exponential graph; definitely not the internet video program of the same name)

  1. To exaggerate measurements.



  1. To make safe; secure.


v. (from ribbon tab naming in Excel 12)

  1. To create or use a spreadsheet.

“Sheet” started out being called “Enter Data” in Excel, as we tried to come up with a term which matched “Write” in spirit. But it was a long and clunky name, conflicted with the “Data” tab of Excel, and worst of all (in my opinion), it makes working with Excel sound like drudgery. —Jensen Harris, “There’s No Place Like Home”


n. (from sob and subculture; thanks, Peggy)

  1. A subculture the very existence of which makes people cry.


n. (from southpaw and maw)

  1. One who eats primarily with the left side of one’s mouth.


n. (from stalk and documentary; thanks, Beau)

  1. A guerilla documentary about someone, filmed without their consent or knowledge.



  1. A skillful user of secrecy.


n. (from deck and teledildonics; thanks, Broken)

  1. The technology required to punch someone who sorely needs it in the face over the internet.

i’m going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet —HatfulOfHollow, Bash.org quote #4281


v. (verbing of the noun toon)

  1. To play in an MMORPG or virtual world.

total lol

n. (from total war)

  1. The event after which all Internet traffic exclusively comprises spam, lolcats, and links to YouTube videos.

Future historians will have decided total lol was inevitable once the US Congress mandated IPv6 on the behalf of News Corporation’s newly merged Dow Jones/IANA division, and every electronic device was given not only its own IP address but its own Myspace.



  1. Very, of hardness or difficulty.

E.g., “These boxes are tough heavy to move.”


n. (from underdog and doggerel)

  1. Crudely poetic praise for the unlikely competitor.


n. (from weblog and sphere)

  1. The “place” on the web composed of blogs. Syn. blogosphere.

Weblosphere, usually pronounced as web low sphere, has the added advantage over blogosphere that it can be alternately pronounced as we blow sphere.


n. (from irony and, e.g., malk)

  1. The quality exhibited by situations that might commonly and incorrectly be described as ironic; that is, situations that are poetically coincidental but insufficiently absurd.